Dick*the eldest daughter reaching a breaking point and it was this or manslaughter*: Due to my emotional trauma, I have decided I will be reverting back to my childhood Goblin lifestyle
Jason*always one for chaos*: Good for you
Bruce*traumatized from the first time not sure if he can survive a pt.2*: oh no
Tim*never left his Menace Lifestyle and is very exited to help cause more problems*: yay!
Baby Dick Grayson as Robin meets the League and they’re all gobsmacked at how Batman, who has an emotional range that goes from cynical wet blanket to unstoppable force of nature, has such a seemingly normal and happy kid.
“He must get it from his mom.” Green Lantern said, trying to build some kind of rapport. “She approve of you running around beating up bad guys, little man?”
“My mom is dead,” Dick replied and Green Lantern paled.
“Oh that’s uh–”
“It happened right in front of us.” Dick continued conversationally, gesturing to himself and Bruce.
The rest of the League start frantically signalling to Hal without using words, abort! Abort!
LMAO
And Bruce would absolutely NOT make it better and when he tunes into the conversation he immediately starts scowling at Hal like crazy, asking him if he enjoys dredging up past traumas and what the hell he thinks he’s doing “interrogating” Robin.
Dick, the little gremlin, is absolutely grinning from ear to ear when he sees how Hal wilts like a flower under the Batman’s impressive glower.
The Justice League think that the Batman is a grieving widower for the longest time and that that’s his motive for going out dressed like an overgrown rodent. 😩✨
(If Dick caught onto what’s happening he’s totally exploiting that at every point and turn. Hal’s nightmares now feature traffic light colors, Robin’s innocent-yet-evil angel face, and Batman).
Dick dragging jason in behind him: I think it’s about time you met my little brother everyone. Say hi Jay!
Jason, who met dick like three hours ago: Hey?
Justice league: 0•0
Hal, putting his foot in his mouth again: please don’t tell me you also saw your mom die
Jason, blinking: no?
Hal: thank go-
Jason: she was already dead when I got home. Found her on the bathroom floor.
“i wanna get better at drawing [body part] but i dont want people to think i have a fetish” stop worrying. youre an artist. everyone already knows youre a pervert of some kind.
what did you create today bud? maybe you created a thought about a balloon? maybe a breakfast this morning? maybe a look at a dog trotting by. maybe a heartbeat? it is incredible how much art you are making all the dang time. you are SO prolific
“aw i love your earrings, they’re so cute!” i say, making the barista’s day. i sit down with my coffee and send a respected mutual an anon ask reading “you look like you’ve got that homestuck kinnie pussy.” thus i have maintained the balance of suffering in the world for another day. as i wander down the beach of life, my footsteps do not even disturb its grains
